It All Started in May

Hello my past nissy! Ang dami kong utang na kuwento sa'yo ^_^

I do not know when and how should I begin. There is something that happened unexpectedly that I wouldn’t trade for anything in this world.

So our story started as friends. He and his friend, nag-explore sila ng sections nung 2nd Semester of 1st Year, tapos isa yung 2101 (our section) sa nilipatan nila. I do not vividly remember kung anu ano yung mga subjects, nagsimula nalang sila na sumama sa circle namin, nakakasabay na naming kumain tuwing lunch, hanggang sa nasasanay na ako sa kanila, tipong hindi na kumpleto ang barkada kapag wala ang dalawa.

I have always seen Rhon as someone so kind ever since binulungan niya ako ng sagot sa looping quiz namin sa Computer Programming, and every time he teaches me during that subject, sobrang na-appreciate ko kaya he is one of the reasons kung paano ko na-build yung fundamental knowledge ko in terms of coding. Pero if we are talking about how close we are to each other, hindi gaano, simply because I never had the chance to talk to him more deeply personally, mag-uusap lang kami kapag magkakasama ang buong barkada.

But everything changed nitong 2nd year, mas naging talkative na ako, hindi na ako nangangapa sa kanila, lalo sa kanya. We became closer because of IG reels (thanks IG <3) But that one specific thing that happened which made me realize that there is something special that I am feeling towards him was during the first time he gave me a ride on his motorcycle. It was April 14. Pumunta kami ng wawa non para tingnan yung sunset and gabi na nakauwi, tapos sa mismong moment na 'yon na nakaangkas ako, nararamdaman ko yung weird feeling inside my heart, I kept on wishing to myself na sana matagal pa yung byahe, kasi I want more time with him alone. Kaso the promise I made to myself years ago about me not liking a guy is haunting me, and ang dumadagdag pa sa isipin ko, kaibigan ko siya so hindi ko pinansin yung nararamdaman ko, dineny ko nalang sa sarili ko.

The next significant thing that happened to me is the day before the BitCon Seminar, it was the time na na-delay yung isa kong gift kay Rhon so I wanted to buy him one more gift, I tried to search something nice na related sa kuromi week before and day before his birthday kaso sa VM lang ako naghanap kaya wala masyadong options, tapos habang nagtitingin-tingin ako possible gift, all I could think of is him. Sabi ko sa isip ko "Magugustuhan kaya ito ni Rhon?" and the day of his birthday, my heart was pounding so fast, hindi ko mabigay yung first gift ko sakanya, eh magkalayo yung upuan naming dalawa. I went to his place 3-4 times, tapos doon kami nag-lunch sa pwesto kung saan sila nakaupo. I was supposed to give him his gift before we eat, but pinangunahan ako ng kaba. Sobra akong nagtataka sa sarili ko kasi magbibigay lang naman ako ng regalo, bakit ako kinabahan? Tapos nung nag-ipon na ako ng lakas ng loob, binilisan ko yung pagbigay sa kanya ng gift tapos tatakbo ako papaalis, without him knowing na I want to take a picture with him, but again, I felt so shy and I was super nervous during those times.

Another one is that during the first day of our department's foundation day. Buong araw kaming magkasama, buong araw ko siyang nakita, and I feel like nasanay na ako sa kanya, hindi ko gusto na maaalis siya sa paningan ko. Kung nasaan siya, nandun ako o kung hindi ko man siya kasama, basta natatanaw ko. When I gave him my another gift na na-delay, his reaction was so genuine buti nalang na-videohan. He might not realize it to himself but he is so expressive and appreciative and that is one of those things I like about him.

Ang daming kailangang mangyari para mas ma-realize ko sa sarili ko na namumuo na yung nararamdaman ko sakanya. But ito yung pinakamahalaga sa lahat. Our CISCO final exam can be done by partners, he chose me to be his partner, at kahit hindi niya ako tanungin, siya rin yung unang tao sa isip ko na gusto ko maging kapareha. During the first days of us doing our CISCO, sa bahay nila 'yon. But before that, sobrang naramdaman ko yung kaba nung umangkas ulit ako sa motor niya, during those moment, hindi ko maitago yung ngiti ko sa saya. Pero pagkarating ko sa bahay nila, I was so nervous to the point na hindi ko makain nang ayos yung lunch ko, sobrang intense na intense na ako. Pero kumalma naman ako nung umupo na kami sa salas, everytime na sumasandal ako sa couch nila, I only can see his back, admiring him habang ginagawa niya yung topology. Doon ko na-confirm na gosh Lord, gusto ko si Rhon, bakit ganito yung nararamdaman ko? tama ba na maramdaman ko ito? kaso I cannot express it, para kaming naghuhulaan, hindi ko siya mabasa, hindi ko alam kung anong iniisip niya.

Maraming tao na yung nagsasabi at nakakaramdam sa kung anong meron sa'ming dalawa, pero kami mismo yung hindi nakakahalata, o natatakot lang na mag-aminan. But all those fears, lahat nawala nung nag-overnight. It was 1:30 a.m., sobrang lakas ng ulan. Nag-overnight ang barkada dito sa bahay namin, tapos kami nalang ni Carl yung natirang gising. Dun na ako naglakas loob na sabihin lahat ng nararamdaman ko kay Rhon, kasi alam kong Rhon is listening, I know he is still awake, kahit na nakahiga siya at parang natutulog, deep inside my heart, alam ko, kasi hindi nagkakamali yung instincts ko. 

after an hour, around 2:30, doon nagsimulang tumunog nang tatlong beses yung timer ni Rhon na 1 hour for his 1 hour power nap, nagsimulang bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko. I never experienced something like that to happen in my life. Nag-confess ako sa kaibigan ko nang madaling araw habang naulan nang malakas, that is something so rare. Tumaas ako para sandaling magpakalma, habang natutulog yung dalawa kong kaibigan sa kama, I feel my heart again pounding so fast, sobrang lakas ng tibok na I am worried if naririnig na ba ni Yuan na katabi ko at baka magising siya. Ilang minuto din ako nakatitig sa kisame, thinking of the possible things na sasabihin ni Rhon. 

will he reject me? sasabihin niya ba na hanggang kaibigan lang tingin niya sa'kin? ano kayang posibleng mangyari?

Hanggang sa nag-ipon na ako ng courage na harapin siya. He was holding that cinamoroll squishy tapos nilalaro-laro ito. Sobra akong lutang na hindi ko na alam kung anong pwede kong gawin, ayoko namang magkunwaring walang nangyari because hindi non masasagot lahat ng tanong na iniisip ko.

I finally sat down beside him, tapos sa loob ng tatlong minuto, tahimik lang kaming dalawa, tapos nagsimula na siyang magsalita, doon na ako kumalma, then we end up confessing to each other.

"Gusto rin kita Rhon"

That day was so special to me, it was May 13 when it all happened, sobrang genuine ni Rhon, to the point na I appreciate him for not running away, hindi na paligoy-ligoy and he is already thinking about future na tipong punong-puno na ng clarity na pinapakita na seryoso siya. He is not the type of guy na napre-pressure, and I am glad na after building my walls for 2 years, he is the first one who tried to break it, masaya ako na siya yung dahilan kung bakit ko gustong sumugal ulit, na akala ko hindi ko na kayang gawin.

After everything that happened, sobrang bago sa'kin lahat ng nararanasan ko ngayon. He is the first guy who has shown me what it’s like to be treated right. He’s so genuine in every aspect, he always makes me feel assured and secure. I know it might be too early to say this, but I can already imagine a future with him.

Kaya sana, dumating na yung right time na mapakilala ko siya kila mama at papa, because I am very sure of him. Wala nang kahit anong uncertainties, hindi na ako nagdududa, siguradong-sigurado na ako sakanya.

Kaya Mr. Rhon Russell Cadlawon, if you are reading this blog that is especially made for you, I want you to know that I feel so lucky to have you, and I thank God for letting me meet someone like you. <3

I heart you, Rhon Russell, my sweetheart <3

End of Month, April 2025

 Sobrang busy ng month na ito, masyado akong napagod.

    Ngayong mga oras na ito, na-realize kong May 1 na pala bukas so kahit na inaantok na ako, gusto ko pa ring mag-update kasi naging tradition na para sa blog ko na I have to update my end of the month. Matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakakapag-sulat-sulat, hindi ko na rin nga ito nabubuksan masyado, halos nakakalimutan ko na yung mga nailagay ko rito. Pero ayun, susubukan kong alalahanin yung mga bagay na nangyari sa'kin sa month na ito.

    April, my birthmonth, and also the birthmonth of this guy friend of mine. Alam mo yung feeling na I'm so comfortable to him, tipong I don't feel any awkwardness at all, pwede pala talaga mangyari yung platonic friendship, tipong i do care about him a lot. Napansin ko talaga na I am surrounded by kind people, na kahit ako napapatanong sa sarili ko, bakit parang hindi ko deserve? 

    Since nabanggit ko nga na birthmonth ko, wala namang masyadong ganap, ni hindi ko nga gustong i-celebrate yung sarili kong birthday, pero this blog is not about myself, appreciation lang for my friends, kaso minsan napapaisip ako, paano na ba sa 3rd year? Ngayong April din nangyari yung pilian ng major and most of my friends, BA sila, which is iba sa pinili ko. Kaya ngayong mga oras na ito, napapaisip ako, tama ba yung pinili ko? Future nissy, kakayanin kaya natin ang cisco?

    Ngayong April din nangyari yung foundation day, and now that I have experienced na maging isa sa mga member sa isang org, I have come to realize na hindi talaga ako para don. I know it takes time to adjust, pero hindi ko nakikita yung sarili ko na umulit ulit, parang never again. Okay na yung naranasan, basta huwag mangyayari ulit. 

    Ano pa ba? Hmmm, ngayong month din, ang puro event lang yung naaalala ko, nalalapit na matapos ang school year na ito, 2 weeks to go. 

Future nissy, sa mga panahong ito, 20 years old, parang hindi ko alam kung makikilala ko pa ba yung taong para sa’kin, because everytime I like someone, I distance myself from them but whenever I feel like someone likes me, I pushes them away. 

I am currently listening to filipino old songs, na nagpapa-comfort sa gabi kong mapayapa na walang kahit naong iniisip. Gusto ko yung ganito lang, yung walang kahit anong dinadalang problema, kung pwede lang, kung maaari lang sana. 

 

Back to my realization, siguro ano nalang, huwag magmadali sa mga bagay-bagay, at kapag may gustong sabihin, sasabihin agad, para hindi na maging komplikado, at para na rin sa ikakapayapa ng puso at isipan ko. Maikli lang, parang gasgas na kasi mga realizations ko eh. Ngayong magsisimula na ulit ang bagong month, I want you nissy na maging mas bukas sa mga posibilidad, huwag kang matatakot to take a risk, ipaglaban mo yung mga gusto mo, yung mga nararapat sa'yo and I am so proud of you, you are not haunted by the past anymore, it took you a looong time. 2 weeks na lang, you deserve to rest a lot after this, sana ma-survive mo ang hell week. ^_^ 

Happy 1st Day Of April!

 You gotta keep your promises to yourself, miss nissy

And I know it's getting hard to remember where we started

We're in the middle of the road to the promised land

If we hold on I promise we'll see a better plan

And I know it's getting hard to remember how we got here

We're in the middle of the road to the promised land

If we hold on I promise we'll see a better plan

    Dahil simula na naman ng bagong month, parang isang malaking sign na ito para sa'kin na makapagsimula ulit. To all the feels that I am feeling na hindi umaayon sa aking principles and values in life, kailangan ko nang i-remove sa aking heart. 

     April 1 has always been a special day for me, but right now, as of this moment, tinatanggal ko na lahat ng memories ko attached within this day. Sobrang random talaga ng pag-u-update ko ng blog ngayon, hindi ako makatulog. Nakikinig na lang ako ng wave to earth and the ridleys playlist kasi sobrang relaxing ng kanta nila. 

    I do not actually know kung anong kakaharapin ko na mga challenges ngayong month na ito. Masyado kasi akong napagod at na-burnout nung March kaya pakiramdam ko, kahit anong ibigay sa'kin ng buwan na ito, parang immune na ako. Kada linggo nalang akong napapagod eh, tipong walang kahit anong "time freeze", laging nasabak sa giyera. For sure, academic stress lang din yung dala-dala sa'kin ng April.

    Pero kahit na ganon man ang nangyari, ituturing ko pa rin na privilege lahat ng paghihirap na nararanasan ko ngayon, mami-miss ko ring ma-stress sa bakasyon, pero right now, gusto ko na makaramdam ng bakasyon, fast forward to holy week please. KAILANGAN KO NG PAHINGA!

    Ano bang pwede pang nilalaman ng first blog entry ko for this month? Ayun, my birthday is also near, which is on April 11. Gosh, 20 years old na si Nissy? Parang hindi ko ramdam, na-stuck ata yung age ko sa 16. Bilang isang almost 20 years old, I feel like ang dami ko pang kailangang matutunan, hindi pa sapat yung mga napagdaanan ko, pero sobrang thankful ako sa mga naranasan ko during my teenage years.

    Naging kumpleto yung pagiging teenager ko. Naranasan kong ma-inlove sa isang tao, nagkaroon ako ng rebel stage, nagkaroon ako ng napakaraming pimples, I had my glow-up during pandemic, and also, I liked a girl and right now, sa girl na talaga ako na-attract. Damn, that's the highlight of me as a teenager. In terms of my mental well-being, ang dami kong experiences na nagpatatag ng loob at ng mindset ko. I have a long way to go para lang mas mag-improve yung way of thinking ko, because katulad nga ng lagi kong sinasabi, lagi kong binababa yung sarili ko kahit na may mga achievements ako.

    Naranasan ko ring maging isang typical kpop fan, pagiging k-drama addict, at hindi matulog nang maaga para lang matapos ang isang episode ng series. Sobrang enjoy ko naman ang buhay ng pagiging teenager. But right now na I am turning 20, kailangan ko nang mag-improve sa everyday life ko lalo na sa social skills ko. Ganito pala yung feeling ng young adult, bakit parang isip bata pa ako? hahaha joke lang.

    Sobrang random talaga nung mga sinabi ko, but as I conclude this blog entry for the first day of the month, sana nissy, you always try to find a way para mas mag-grow, huwag kang matataot na magkamali at sumubok, at sana, kapag pipili ka ng mga decisions and life choices, pag-iisipan mo nang mabuti, doon ka sa hindi ka mapapahamak. ^_^

    

End of Month, March 2025

It's been so long since I've updated here, masyado akong naging busy and naging stress ngayong march. Ngayon ko na lang ulit nabuksan itong blog ko.

    Hindi pa katapusan ng March pero gusto ko na mag-kuwento dito. Masyado nang napupuno ng thoughts itong isipan ko. Ang highlight ng March ko ay about friends, family, myself, and my acads.

Friends. First week of March, my circle had a conflict na medyo nakaapekto sa'kin emotionally. It's been years since I've cried in front of my mom, pero nung time na nangyayari yung conflict, wala na akong nagawa but to burst my eyes out. Ang dami kong regrets nung time na 'yon, "sana pala hindi na lang ako nagsalita" kaya simula nung nangyari 'yon, naging careful na ako sa mga salitang binibitawan ko, maging sa mga kaibigan ko, sobrang pili lang nung mga "bagay" na ino-open ko. Kasi hindi ko gugustuhing mangyari ulit yung isang bagay na masyadong makakaapekto sa'kin. But despite all the negativities, gusto ko lang i-kuwento na dahil sa kaibigan, medyo lumalawak na yung perspektibo ko in terms of my relationship with my parents. But before I tell any of that, I want to share my first ever overnight. Sa buong buhay ko, hindi ko naranasan na makitulog o magpatulog ng kaibigan sa kwarto ko and I am so grateful for these two people, who are keep pushing me out on my comfort zone, sa kanila ko natututunan na mag-enjoy, na mas maging masaya, huwag puro stress sa college life. That memory alone was so happy, at sobrang gaan sa feeling na mayroon akong sila.  What happened during that overnight? Kung anu-ano lang. We played uno cards, talked random things, drank soju, cried together, laughed together, slept together, and that's when I realized that being spontaneous is so much fun. I totally admit to myself that I want everything to be planned, but during that night, go with the flow lang kami, hindi namin plinano lahat yung mga nangyari. All my life, I always thought na there is something wrong with my personality, I am to shy to mingle with other people, sobra akong nangangapa at mahiyain, hindi ako yung tipo na agad makikipag-usap and magiging comfortable, but right now that I have found those people that I can freely show my real emotions, I believe there is nothing to be afraid about. Parang hindi ko nararamdaman na hindi ako kumpleto, 'pag kasama ko sila, nagiging buo ako.

Family. As I have told here, sobrang hirap sa'kin maging affectionate towards my parents. Pero during my talk with my friend, she said something to me na "hindi sila forever nandito" tapos nung isang araw, sinamahan ako ni mama sa banko. Tapos it's been so long since I stared at her, pumuputi na yung buhok ni mama. That's when I realized na I should show my love and care to her more. In terms of my relationship with my papa, ever since I opened up to him na natatakot ako kapag sumisigaw siya, lagi nang mahinhin yung pagsasalita niya. "Beng" that's the way he calls me.  Alam mo ba nissy, every time na uuwi akong pagod after class, marinig ko lang yung kumusta nila, "nakakain ka na ba? pagod ka? " parang nawawala yung pagod ko sa mga salitang 'yon. Kaya nissy, make them proud, okay?            

Myself and Academics. Pinag-isa ko na yung dalawa since I've always seen myself na "who am I without my academic validation?" Ngayong March naganap yung midterms exam namin for 2nd Semester and I feel like I haven't done enough. Paulit-ulit ako sa cycle na lagi kong binababa yung sarili ko, hindi ko masyadong na-a-appreciate yung efforts ko tapos kapag may iba na proud sa mga nagagawa ko, napapaisip ako, "pano na next time? baka pumalya ako." haaay nissy, you need to have positive mindset, makakasira yan ng mental well-being mo. Isinigit ko lang rin na kakapuyat ko nung exam, masyadong napagod yung katawan ko kaya after exam week, bigla akong nagkasakit (dala na rin ng hawa sa'kin ni kuya).

Hayyy future nissy, I don't know what can I do. To conclude my end blog for today, all I just want to say ay sobra akong thankful sa mga kaibigan at parents ko. Mas ipapakita ko sa kanila yung love and care ko. In terms to myself, mas magiging proud ako sa achievement ko no matter how small or big it is, ang dami mo na kayang na-aachieve nissy, kaya maging masaya ka!. Sa aking puso, not my priority right now ang magkagusto to that person, so I won't think much about it kahit na komplikado yung feelings ko towards that girl. Motivation na lang to do better, and I wish nothing but the best to my future self. 2 months na lang, matatapos na ang 2nd Sem, kaya laban lang nissy, kayang-kaya mo 'yan!

Masyadong over the place ang end of the month entry ko ngayong March. Sana mas makabuluhan ang realization ko sa April. Hehe. :)      

End Of Month, February 2025

Sobrang bilis para sa'kin ng month na ito. Bakit nga ba? 

Masyadong maraming binigay na gawain, halos sunod-sunod nung mga nakaraang linggo, kaya siguro hindi ko na namamalayan yung bawat oras at mga araw na lumilipas. Ngayong mga panahong sinusulat ko ito, tanging hiling ko lang, makapagpahinga nang payapa. 

My February started as a brokenhearted girlie (tinatawanan ko nalang ngayon) and I am confidently saying na tinatapos ko ang February ko na ito with a happy heart. Ano nga bang nangyari sa month na ito? Teka, isa-isahin ko.

As I've read thoroughly on my online journal, there is one thing that I am usually talking about and those are the people that became part of my every day. I won't mention any names here, code name nalang. 

First of all, I want to appreciate this guy friend of mine, whom I call someone na soft boy. I like how soft spoken he is, although alam ko naman na may mga kalokohan siyang ginagawa together with his two friends. But all in all, sobrang grateful ako to meet someone like him na matatawag ko talagang platonic friend that I care so much. 

Also to these two girls whom I can call "dog lovers girlies" Hindi ako makaisip nang kahit anong code name, kaya yun nalang kasi parehas silang may doggies. Ang gaan ng loob ko sa kanilang dalawa. 

Ano pa bang pwede ko i-kuwento? Ang naging realization ko sa month na ito ay I should be considerate more to the feelings of other people. Hindi ako sanay mag-sorry, hindi rin ako sanay na ilagay yung sarili ko sa isang complicated situation na kung saan ico-confront ko yung isang tao para lang malaman niya yung side ko. Siguro yun yung kailangan kong i-improve sa sarili ko, to be someone who can stand up on her own, and own up her mistakes. Hindi ako yung ma-pride na tao, pero once na magka-conflict, the initial reaction that I am having is silent treatment and avoiding that person.

I do not know why ganon yung actions ko, but the only thing that I am certain is, lumaki akong hindi nalalaman ng iba yung tunay na nararamdaman ko, I tend to keep things on my own, ayaw ko na magkaroon ng malaking away, gusto ko ire-resolve ko yung negative feelings ko on my own, hanggang sa maging magaan na ulit yung loob ko. 

Month of February also for me is something stressful. Hindi ko man nasasabi sa iba, maging sa mga taong malalapit sa'kin ngayon, pero sobra na akong burnout with what's currently happening in my life. Gusto ko nalang na mag-pause, pwede ba yung patitigilin ko muna for 10 minutes yung oras? Para makapag-isip-isip? Hindi na ako nagkakaroon ng urge to study hard, nawawalan na ako ng gana ipagpatuloy ito lahat, hindi ko na gusto yung mga ginagawa ko, I'm just accomplishing task para lang hindi ako matambakan but in reality, gusto ko nalang na hindi ito gawin lahat. Tinatamad na ako sa lahat.

For the concluding part, what I have learned for this month of February is that... I'm so blessed to have friends that are so nice. Minsan napapaisip ako, am I a good friend? Gusto kong mas mag-improve and become a better person and a better friend. Sumagi sa isip ko ang shs friends ko, kumusta na kaya sila? Hindi ko na alam kung paano sila i-approach, kailan kaya magkakaroon ng pagkakataon na mag-reconnect ulit kami? I hope they are doing fine. 

Happy Hearts Day! (Healed Version)

    

    As you guys may not know, a year ago, I have posted a blog on the day of Valentines day. Kakabasa ko lang, tapos ang nararamdaman ko ngayon ay relief at magaan na compared to what I am feeling during the time I wrote this: Happy Hearts Day!.

    Honestly, hindi ko na rin gaanong maalala yung memories ko with the guy that I've mentioned to that blog entry. Hindi ko na alam kung paano o bakit ko ba siya nagustuhan dati since marami na rin ang nangyari, marami nang dumagdag sa mga memories ko na naging dahilan para matabunan na yung mga past experiences ko from 1 year ago. Pero ofcourse, kahit na may mga nakalimutan ako, may isang lesson na talagang tatatak sa puso at isipan ko and that is... you have to always prioritize yourself at hindi masyadong magpaapekto sa mga naraaramdaman mo.

    All of it happened during the time that I was 18 years old. Naalala ko pa non, "uy! 18 na ako, wala na akong limitations in terms of my feelings towards other people" but as we all know, we should not rush into doing things that we are not capable of doing yet. Masyado akong nagmadali dati, akala ko yung crush na naramdaman ko, pwede ko na i-improve into something genuine we call "love". But as I grow older, ngayon na I am turning 20, I realized na love should not be rushed. Isa itong napakabigat na feeling na dapat na pahalagahan. Kailangan na pinag-iisipan at hindi dapat fino-force. 

    Maybe, what I have felt during that time was really true. The love that I felt for him was genuine but right now na hindi ko mahanap yung tamang sagot kung bakit ko ba siya minahal, siguro matatawag ko nalang na pagmamahal out of care and kindness? Pero not to the point na I am willing to do and sacrifice everything out of love for him. Hindi pa naman ako nagre-reach sa point na ganon.

    I am confidently saying na naka-move on na talaga si nissy. She is not crying anymore over that guy. She is living and enjoying her life now. 

    Pero... a little update sa'kin after I posted a blog about my latest crush that I call "Aphrodite", it feels like 80% na akong nakaka-get over sa kanya. Hindi na ako katulad nung dati na may paruparo sa tiyan kapag nakikita ko siya. Oo, aaminin ko, every time na makikita ko yung mga irregular people, agad na lumilibot yung panigin ko para lang makita siya. Pero hindi na ako kinakabahan kapag nag-uusap kaming dalawa. I remember nung Pathfit namin, simple interactions lang naman, nag-passing kami ng bola, hindi na ako masyadong naiilang kapag tinitingnan ko siya nang mata sa mata. 

    Anyway, to conclude this entry that is especially posted para sa araw ng mga puso, ang mga sasabihin kong ito ay para sa future nissy.

        Hello Nissy, as I am writing this letter for you today, I just want let you know na no pressure! Hindi mo kailangan ng ibang tao to know your worth. You have your friends around you, your family, your loved one and they care so much about you. I don;t see myself right now having a lover or a special someone, kahit nga 10 years pa 'yan, parang masyadong imposible para sa'kin because never ko naman naranasan. But kahit na ganon, ang tanging hiling ko lang sa'yo, to be a successful person someday dahil babawi pa tayo sa sarili natin! So I am always wishing you the best, at sana lagi mong tatandaan yung mga aral na tinuro sa'yo ni Lord at ng universe in terms of loving someone :)