It's been 10 days since I've last updated here on my blog, I don't know what to say, hindi ko rin alam kung anong magiging content ng entry ko for today. Napansin ko lang din na napupuno ako ng thoughts sa year 2024 kasi halos kumpleto yung mga buwan na meron akong nakalagay dito. Nagsimula lang na mas maging open ako rito nung May, wherein everything felt like I am moving forward. Ang bilis ng panahon, noh? It is already November. Naalala ko dati nung simula ng year 2024, exact new year, I promised myself na this time next year I'll be living so good, kanta kasi 'yon! HAHAHAHAH. Now that many months have passed, at dalawang buwan nalang ang ilalaan ko sa taong ito, I am cherishing every moment and living every second of it.
A person once wished me, "I hope you heal and enjoy life." I personally do not know her, we never saw each other in person, but up until know, that girl, may malaking impact siya sa buhay ko. Is she doing alright? Despite all the things that I did, she chose to be kind, and to wish me well.
Past nissy was so... toxic, I must say. I felt like I have done a lot of things that was beyond my control, to the point na hindi ko na naisip yung na-feel ng ibang tao, I was once selfish, who thinks highly of herself, na hindi ko na gustong mangyari kasi it was so immature of me.
As I try to be more mature day by day, I often remind myself that it is okay to make mistakes, hindi naman tayo pinanganak sa mundong ito para maging perfect 'di ba? But minsan napapaisip ako, sa kabila ba ng pagiging masamang tao ko, deserve ko ba yung mga nangyayari sa'kin ngayon? O baka may karma na dumating-- Baka nga dumating na, kaya nagdudusa ako ngayon.
Medyo wala ng context yung mga sinasabi ko, but all in all I just want to tell to my dear past nissy na I forgive her for those things that she have done. Sana maramdaman niya na ang kapayapaan na matagal na niyang inaasam-asam.
Change topic naman tayo! Ano pa bang nangyayari sa buhay ko? I told in this blog na I should focus my entries more on myself but I want to tell you guys this girlie. Na-kuwento ko na siya sa past blog ko, na sabi ko admiring from afar but as time goes by, nalaman na pala niya, tapos nalaman na nila, hanggang sa alam na ng lahat.
Pero sa kabila ng lahat ng 'yon, I always tell to myself na "nissy, do not cross that imaginary boundary, always be mindful of your actions, ha?" and that is what I am doing for the past 4 weeks. Mahigit isang buwan ko na siyang gusto-- gusto in a way na pure admiration lang ha? She's well aware by the fact na I do like her but not in a romantic kind of way, more like... gusto but not in a deeper level. Basta! Hindi ko na pakokomplikahin pa.
Nonchalant talaga ako pero everytime I ser her, nagiging oa si nissy. Crush lang talaga, promise! :D
by means of motivation, nilagay ko name niya sa current topic namin sa java >.<
Oh damn miss devine, you caught my attention without even trying.
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