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Nissy's Personal Blogging Purpose

I started this blog on August 5, 2021, as a space where I can freely share my thoughts and emotions. Opening up to others has always been hard for me, but this blog helps me work through my feelings and be real with myself. Feel free to read anything here, but please do so with kindness and without judgment. ^_^

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

We Are All Bad Person Trying To Be Better

Siguro we have that moment in our life na we have done something wrong to others or to ourselves and it's totally fine because we make mistakes, we aren't perfect human beings to begin with... 

Tuwing may pagkakataon talaga na wala akong kahit anong iniisip, nagkakaroon ako ng self realization sa utak ko. Madalas kapag mag-isa ako, gusto kong kausapin yung sarili ko. Not in a way na matatawag na akong insane or crazy, but in a way na I am reflecting..."am I doing good? Am I kind enough?" 

When a person done something wrong to me, may 3 stages talaga ng emotions na nagci-circulate sa utak ko. The first one is anger, "bakit mo ba ito ginawa sa'kin? Ano bang atraso ko sa'yo?! Deserve ko ba ito?" Ang sumunod naman ay empathy, "ahhh siguro may pinagdadaanan lang ito, deeper reason or traumatic past kaya niya nagawa sa'kin ito", and the last one is... acceptance "hindi naman perfect lahat ng tao, minsan nagkakamali pero ang mahalaga, matuto sa pagkakamali niya. Hindi na uulitin, hindi na gagawin sa iba."

In the first place, alam ko namang hindi ako palaging nasa tama, may mga pagkukulang din ako sa sarili ko at sa ibang tao. Minsan, nagagalit din ako. Hindi ko na-co-control easily yung emotions ko. May mga pagkakataon din na nakakasakit din ako ng ibang tao unintentionally. Itong pagiging introvert ko rin ang nagiging dahilan kung bakit nagkakaroon ng misundertanding. I always see myself as a woman with few words, in real life. Pero kapag ganitong online at sarili ko lang yung kausap ko, I tend to talk about a lot, like a looot. 

So here's the thing, kapag gumawa ng hindi mabuti yung isang tao, don't judge the person itself. Instead, yung mismong pagkakamali yung dapat na binibigyang focus, because our mistakes will never define us. Kapag may pagkakataon na bumawi, babawi.

At yun ang gagawin ko. 

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