Loving Someone Can Be A Both Blessing And A Curse

    As I am shuffling through my "Your top songs 2023" on my spotify, it was the period when I am romantically inlove with someone. I may call it right now as a puppy love pero during that time na I was still inlove with that person, I often imagine my future plans with him, kasama siya sa mga plano ko. But eventually, it didn't turned out very well and I never heard anything from that person again. Loving him during that time wasn't the problem, it was me losing myself that broke me.

    I am currently a 19 years old girlie, marami pa akong panahon para magmahal, masaktan, at maka-experience ng mga nararanansan ng isang typical na young adult. However right now, my current goal in life is just to be mentally stable and to enjoy life without having the feeling of the constant pressure that I always face everyday. Being in this situation wherein I am not comfortable of the changes that is happening to me feels so overwhelming, and I don't know paano ako makakatakas, or mas gusto ko nalang na bawasan lahat ng negative na iniisip ko, gusto ko na maging malaya na itong isipan ko.

    I always felt like hindi ako nagmamadali na makahanap kasi I know in myself I have a lot to improve at hindi ko kakayanin kung magpapasok pa ako sa buhay ko ng isang taong ang purpose is to be romantically involved. But just like what I said, ang makaramdam ng pagmamahal sa isang tao, it feels so... unreal. Being inlove makes me feel so selfless, but at the same time, dependent to that person, and I do not want to happen that again. I don't want to go through all of those pain again because ang lagi ko ngang paalala sa sarili ko...

Loving someone can be so detrimental for you, miss nissy.