End of Month, July 2024: It All Makes Sense

 

    Today is July 30, 2024. TUESDAY. It is currently 11:01 p.m. Hmmm, what should I write for tonight? Tomorrow will be the last day of July. August na! Which means going back to school na. I don't know what should I expect, or is it better if hindi ako mag-expect at all? Ang mga ginagawa ko lang these past few days ay Dragon City and I've been lately watching Alex Gonzaga's vlog. Ang random 'di ba?

    As of this moment, I am currently listening to The Ridleys. Their songs, parang hine-heal nila yung kaloob-looban ko. It's so therapeutic. I've been listening to them since last year because of Aphrodite, and after going through over their soundtracks, I am glad that I was able to discover them during those times that I am on my lowest. Naging sandalan ko yung kanta nila na it all makes sense, at ngayong napagdaanan ko na 'yun lahat, I feel like kahit ano pang problema yung dumaan sakin in the future, makakayanan ko kasi nagawa kong i-overcome yung mga napagdaanan ko dati.

    

    Looking back to all the things I have experienced on my past, masasabi ko sa sarili ko na iba na talaga ako from what I am year ago. Ang dami nang nagbago, ang daming nawala sa buhay ko, pero marami namang dumagdag. Akala ko dati, hindi na ako makakausad, pero ngayong nandito na ako sa point ng buhay ko, I can finally say that I am completely moving forward, and no more looking back.

"I don't know why things happened

I don't know why things didn't go our way

But I don't want to stay stuck in the past

I don't know all the reasons

But I know someday we'll look back

And see it all made sense"

    Hmm, ano pa ba? Alam mo ba nissy, simula nung nagkaroon ako ng kapayapaan within myself, ang dami kong na-realize. Isa na roon ay napapaligiran ako ng mga taong hindi nakabubuti sakin. I once heard from an interview of Ms. Toni Gonzaga, "Don't let the outer environment affect your inner world" tapos dun ako na-enlighten, bakit nga ba ako magpapaaketo s aibang tao kung ako yung main character sa buhay ko? Bakit ko ba sila hinahayaan na i-take over yung mga nangyayari sakin? 

    I have it all under my control, hindi ko na ulit hahayaan yung sarili ko na magpaapekto, kasi buhay ko ito.